How Gilmore Girls changed my life and 4 easy tips to help you improve your perspective
Being pregnant in the spring of 2020 and having a Baby during a summer surge was difficult. Add to this that I also had postpartum anxiety… I was a wreck. Along with the typical losing sleep because of a newborn I was struggling with the inability to shut my brain off from all the what if’s. I couldn’t have much (if any) help due to the pandemic. I had to find ways to be ok because this was our new normal. I started seeing a postpartum therapist (life changed but that’s a whole other post) and during a session she suggested having “girls lunch” with my daughter during feedings. Set up whatever I felt would be not too distracting, easy, fun brunch type vibes (that’s what I thought of at least) and try to just enjoy, this short and semi relaxed moment, with her as often as I could. The first time I tried this, we watched Gilmore Girls. I had searched for a mother daughter show the night before and this one was highly recommended by the interwebs so I rolled with it. Well the theme song got me right in the heart, I still sing it as a lullaby to my daughter every night. I cried tears of joy feeling so in love with my daughter and found these happy moments being exactly what I needed. We went on to watch (she ate and I cried with Rory and Lorelei a lot while telling my daughter 8 millions times how much I love her) Gilmore Girls every day for a few months. Not only did it give us a moment to bond and relax together but it also helped me relax watching a show I knew the outcome (my sister is a huge fan so I knew the endings) … I successfully escaped the anxieties of Covid for a moment, new (and feeling alone) momming and life. With this small step of progress, I got the wheel turning so to speak, to work towards a healthy version of myself as a person, mother, wife, coach and teacher. If you have an unconventional way to curb anxiety or build a positive mindset that is healthy GO YOU! If you need some ideas for easy in the moment tips, aside from watching Gilmore Girls, please see below.
Write down three facts about how you are handling or preparing for something that is stressing you out. Example: I have no idea how to be a good mom. Facts: 1. I have an amazing support system with my mom and sister who I can always ask questions to. 2. I have read all the books I can/have time for to help me prep. 3. I will always make decisions that my heart and head say are best for my child(ren). Sometimes that decision will be wrong but they will always know I love them because I try my best.
Gratitude Journal Daily: Keeping a gratitude journal every day will help you keep a positive mindset. Studies have shown by nature humans focus on the negative so keeping a gratitude journal reminds us of at least one good thing every day. Positive mindset doesn’t mean everything is perfect or easy… It means your day was at least a little good and you allow yourself to see/feel that
Control what you can control: This one is the simplest idea… and the hardest to put into action for me. In life bad things happen that we cannot prevent. All we can do is grief the situation as needed and keep moving. One foot in front of the other. Play the cards your dealt. Grow where your planted… etc. All we can do is work with what we have control over, make the best choices in the moment and do our best.
Fill your cup every day: This means find something that makes you happy (just for yourself) and incorporate it into your life. Whatever it is that helps you feel fulfilled, relaxed and happy, make time for it. If that’s yoga try a 5-10 minute video if you are short on time (chair yoga on your lunch break is always an option too!). If you like to sing, blast some music while you prep your food for dinner, or in the shower, if it’s not too early for a sleeping family) . You have to keep you cup full because when it is, it will run over and help fill the cups around you. When it’s empty… you then have to fill others with an empty cup.
Life is hard… these days it is even more difficult than ever before. All we can do is hope that we made the best choices every day. Did we do our best, did we treat others with kindness, are we giving our children the love they need and the tools they need to succeed? If we keep our moral compass pointing due north and we make all decisions with that being our guide… we cannot do more than that. When we make the wrong choice… admit it, apologize when necessary, fix it and move forward. I hope you see the good in your life because you are unique and that’s amazing!