5 Sticky Situations I love/Hate to remember
When remote learning started I never thought about how invasive it would feel to have students, coworkers, my boss, my dance team, my dance teams families, my entire extended family for my baby shower and more all in my house, virtually, all day every day. Let’s just say, it was a steep learning curve and lessons were learned and at mach 10. I had to move locations throughout my house more than once during a lesson or meeting forgetting that something behind me would not be appropriate to have at school. The lines were blurred … and it got weird sometimes. We are all aware of our surroundings, our language and our clothing more than ever before. Put that in domain 3… self reflection. Looking back on my experience of remote teaching and virtual life a few specific incidents come to mind when I think about the lines of work and home blurring.
I love a good bottle of Pinot Noir from Coopershawk. Something many people don’t know, I was doing fertility treatments for a little over 4 years, well throughout this time I didn’t consume any alcohol. I never cancelled my Coopershawk wine club. I stock piled wine bottles due to this. So many bottles that my china cabinet is now a wine cabinet (which I am not mad about). When I returned to work after maternity leave, as new parents, we had limited free space (that was presentable). So the dining room table was my best option as a make shift desk… in the same location where the wine cabinet is housed. Around 2 weeks in I received an email from a colleague about my choice of background… the aforementioned china wine cabinet. God bless them for having my back because the students may have noticed a significant decrease in wine reserves from the first day to the last day of the semester. I teach health… including alcohol abuse; red flags may have been raised. Now don’t be too concerned, because I didn’t consume any alcohol while trying to conceive or pregnant so nowadays half a glass of red wine goes a long way… and the rest of the bottle finds it’s self down the drain on it’s journey to the sea. So bottles disappeared…and quickly.
I have a sister in law who is a north pole elf and loves to make life a little cleaner and pleasant. She 100% doesn’t swear. Well after 11 years of this I swear… a lot. So she got me a mug as a gift, to be funny as she is, that has a unicorn on it and say’s “I’m (insert f word here) magical”. Fast forward two years to remote learning and I am in a rush… I grabbed said mug and poured myself a glorious cup of coffee (if you do not have a milk frother . Get one. It was a game changer when Starbucks wasn’t an option due lock downs ) and I used this amazing mug throughout my day. I only “noticed” when a co-worker pointed it out during our staff meeting and asked me to “cheers her” through the camera. This is the day I am grateful my wifi during the school day was slow and made by screen grainy so no student would have seen it. SEND HELP! We’re not ok here.
Yes you read that right. I am a new mom, basically living alone because my husband was/is an essential worker and I am trying to keep juggling it all. Between two staff meetings I was breastfeeding my daughter, because the freezer stash was low. I was in a rush to get her in her snoo (If you can get one. It. Is. A.MA.ZING) and then to my meeting. You know what the saying haste makes waste… in this situations haste makes embarrassment… my breastfeeding hoodie never got zipped on one side. I did have my bra latched so it was less Janet Jackson 2004 and more like the cut shirt trend in mean girls… but mortifying either way. I have been done breastfeeding for 8 months now and STILL check my shirt constantly. I also run the line “I’m a cool mom” in my head every time I check. All new moms report to the gymnasium immediately IMMEDIATELY.
The tank top incident: This wasn’t during a school event (Thank all things good) but during the virtual family Christmas party I was hosting. I am the only teacher of my extended family so I had the most experience hosting large groups in unique and inviting ways. I happily volunteered and created a virtual “house” for the party. In this house people could go into different rooms and participate in different activities based on the room (yes I was in all my nerdy-teacher-self glory during this event)… well I was sitting there with my 4 devices with dual screens and a million mics. I was prepared. I planned it at night so my daughter would be “asleep” (the first mistake was assuming she would sleep) and my husband would be home to enjoy and help. Well.. he went to work and my daughter was cluster feeding. So I was a wreck. The participants had fun (at least they said they did to save my feelings) as I was jumping between rooms and devices. I had my daughters spit up (she had reflux so it was massive) on me and I had to take off my outer layer. I always wore layers due to her constant spit up (like I previously stated steep learning curve and lessons were learned) . My shirt under my sweater was a nursing tank top that happened to me the same color as my skin…and I was sitting in the dim light of my devices due to trying to get my daughter back to sleep. So yes everyone in the meeting thought I was naked and yes it was very very awkward.
The incident of all incidents. All my worst social anxiety nightmares came true, for someone else, when I had to call a co-worker and tell them they were off mute. I made this phone call as they yelled at their child about their school and then to her husband about how much she hated our school. Back story I was never nervous about being unmuted at this time myself because I was home every day with no one to talk to but my newborn… and if someone heard me saying “Oh I just love you… I just love you love you love you love” 75 times in a high pitched voice… I would be ok with it. This co-worker went off the rails about everything they had been holding in for months. No. one. Said. Anything. No one told her, chatted her, text her or called her. I came back from the break out room to her rant and immediately called. It felt mortifying and awful for me… I am sure it was not great for her either.
All in all the biggest take away from these moment is give your friends, family, teachers, nurses, fast food workers and any other human being you encounter a break and some grace. We are all one accidental unmute away from telling the world our business and having a breakdown in front of 30 of our colleagues. And please, for the love of God, let them know “Ope, you’re off mute”