15 Types of Virtual Co-Workers that we all know… and love?
When remote learning became a new normal, for us teachers, we struggled to find our footing. It felt like the entire nation and global community of educators were year one teachers all over again (and at the same time. Hey, it was fun…in a sweating like a student teacher looking for a life line from your cooperating teacher and realizing they don’t exist kind of way). We had never done this and we had no reference material to help guide our journey and decisions. We were forging a way forward with no guidance and no idea what our destination was… or how long we would be there before moving on. We were all making the best of the ever-changing directions, health concerns, expectations, needs of students, needs of our families, priorities and deadlines. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times… we made do however we could and still are. Throughout my experiences I found looking for the humor in things helped… so I started taking notes about how many times I told someone they are on mute or off mute, those meetings we attended was clearly given no run-through, practice or trial and how many times I felt I was talking to a wall while teaching. I landed with this blog… and to kick us of a list of 15 types of virtual co-workers- teachers-colleagues during the, never ending, pandemic. We all know them, we all love them and we all are them.
1. The waver-The coworker who waves goodbye to everyone as they leave the meeting and is the last one there with the host… still waving. I found myself thinking every time do people wave at in person meetings and I missed it? Am I the crabby co-worker who leaves every meetings muttering about how this should have been an e-mail? Yes? Got it. I am rating myself as “needs improvement” here but that’s ok because room for growth!
2.The Ghoster– The coworker who wants to “collaborate”, asks to have a virtual meet up and swap ideas… but never joins the group… then always asks “what’s your plan for tomorrow?” every night… you start to respond with “ooooooooooh” insert ghost sound here. I only did this once… it was well received 🙂 Thanks for taking my sass… you know who you are 🙂
3. The Hostest with mostest- this coworker wants to keep the fun side to your co-worker relationships alive so they create virtual outings for the team. The online escape rooms, happy hours, trivia, Christmas parties and recipe exchanges. When you can’t beat them, join them…? Cheers!
4.The Growth Mindset- The coworker who has focus and their life together. They say things like “this is happening ‘for’ us not ‘to’ us”. Every day they are trying to encourage you and everyone else to keep trucking along and take advantage of all the things this “new normal” has to offer. Yay new normal! Thank you to this coworker for being the diamond in the rough… while we’re still st the charcoal stage of this life cycle.
5. The tanned and The Rested- This co-worker has a vacation home so their quarantine felt a little different than ours… who has a bit of a “sunnier” disposition during the virtual meetings. Hey “You go glenn co co!” I am the most Jealous of them all !
6. The new parent- They try to keep their kid out of the background of every meeting but you can hear “Charlies Colorform City” playing from a mile away and the occasional puke forgotten on their shirt. They are the professional muter and unmuter. This is me. I am this co worker. I learned to change a blow out diaper during a 68 second video clip… I will be applying to Nascar pit crews as soon as this is all over… because it will be one day right?… Right?!
7. The Opportunist- The person who is taking advantage of the passing period free time between class periods to clean a window, do some dishes or dart to the mailbox… but gets caught up with their task. They are always late starting class or letting you in from the waiting room. All while making memories and trying all the freebies that are being virtually offered and sharing every opportunity with you and their students. I have seen A LOT of zoos, live streams of beaches, virtual tours of amazing locations around the world during this moment in history so far… I have a new and improved post apocalypse bucket list for vacation destinations and excursions. Because, again, it’s going to end right?… Right?! *Knocks on wood* and cries .
8. The Professional studio owner- This co-worker has the professional green screen, backdrops, lighting, microphones and sound proofed room. They look like they had a professional stylist get them and their set ready for the day. Where as, I resembled a moment from castaway when Tom Hanks is yelling Wiiiilllllllsssoooooooon. Sad, alone and very unkept.
9. The forehead- The “I do not know how to use zoom or meets or teams or the camera on my cell phone co-worker”. This co-co-worker hasn’t figured out how to unmute/mute, join audio, angle their camera correctly or know they don’t need to scream into the mic for us to hear them. You find yourself saying “Ope, you’re on mute.” More often on this call … my motivation and inspiration to take my thoughts and start writing. thank you forehead, thank you.
10. The Barker- This co-worker has dogs that hate the amazon driver, the mailman, the leaves on the trees, the air outside and they have not quite figured out when they are not on mute. The crème de le crème of this version, of this co-worker, also hasn’t change their smoke detector batteries since 2019 as well. Bark Bark Beep… My daughter will know the sound a dog makes in no time.
11. The Cleaner- This co-worker forgets that this meeting isn’t a webinar style and are organizing their fridge and pantry while we all look at their dance moves while perched next to the Worcestershire sauce. I have a friend who was notorious for this… and it was always fun!
12. The Cameo- The co-worker who has their computer so far away from them at their outdoor table you feel they are actually a cameo in a nature show. It was a beautiful view…and a drinking game to see who could creep their location first.
13. The popular one- This co-worker is a wiz with technology and has fun clever content for you to use remotely to keep students engaged. May we know them, may we be friends with them and may we meet them… but may we not be them…. it’s A LOT of work to pull people through who struggle with technology and typing… and reading off a screen… I commend you!
14. The side profile- This co-workers is never looking at you because their camera is not on the screen they are using. We have learned to love their profile… and got a lot of inspiration for hair cuts, skin cream and jewelry.
15. The YOU’RE OFF MUTE!-This is the co-worker who forgets to mute… or thinks they clicked mute before speaking their mind about a co-worker, student or to a child or spouse, the pediatrician, electric company or my favorite orders coffee at Starbucks… the one who promptly “loses wifi” after they return. It’s not fun for anyone in the moment but looking back… funny!? as my laughs turn into awkward sobs.
Remote school and life was a life changer for the world. It affects and is still affecting everyone in different ways and some more than others. As a teacher I am hurting for our students. Their lack of time with each other, their loneliness, their loss of love, food, hygiene and comfort because they only got it at school. Nightmares and dreams were being lived side by side and it is hard to be witness to it. I have lost a lot of sleep during this hoping and praying for my students. All each of us can do is be compassionate, care for others, be kind and give grace. I am grasping at straws to see the funny, softer, positive side to this world we now live in. So here I sit telling people “Ope, you’re on mute.”