New mom in a Covid world… How to learn from my experiences.
As a new mom, life is brand new and beyond scary. I spent the first few weeks wondering how the hospital even allowed me to go home in charge of a life. Now add the layers of Covid-19 scares and rules every changing and it was wild. Covid caused a lot of new fears, more isolation and burdens than moms have ever had to deal with. It was a lot… we made it this far so we will just keep taking it one step at at time.
My biggest, over archiving, piece of advice I can give: Your house rules comes first. What I mean by this is at the end of the day you are in charge of what is allowed in your home, with your child and around them. Period. You will be the person who has to answer to the questions and needs of your children and no one else. Show up, do your best and set boundaries. Covid made me realize that sometimes you don’t get that “village” everyone talks about and for that reason alone it showed me the buck stops here.
Sometimes there is no village
Babies test you and you get no break
Just when you think you have something figured out … you realize you have something totally new to learn. Babies grow, learn, change and develop personalities at lightening speeds and we have to keep up. Because of the before mentioned lack of village… breaks were few and far between. So along with babe I was learning what this new life was all about and building my emotional intelligence as we went!
Every storm runs out of rain
When I was a new mom, I struggled and struggled hard. I had post partum anxiety, had retain placenta (that’s a post for another day but KNOW what it is for your sake.), had COVID-19 to worry about and was solo in my house most of the time. Something I learned, slowly but steadily, was that every emotional storm you are going through, in parenting, ends. Every difficult phase in sleep loss, frustration and emotional needs changes, ends and improves if you keep pushing forward in a healthy way. The best way I can describe this realization is; once you reach the end of the storm and look back you can see the whole picture of the storm, how massive it is, how much rain and lightening but more importantly when it ends. When you ar ein the storm you can’t see the end of it, you cannot see the day light through the rain. This makes every problem feel so much bigger. So a little louder for the new parents in the back EVERY STORM RUNS OUT OF RAIN. You got this! Keep making healthy choices (or start!) and put one foot in front of the other.
Boundaries
Boundaries are KEY when raising a new babe (or any age babe); especially with a global pandemic adding in new dynamics for… well every aspect of life. Having clear boundaries can help you proactively prevent awkward conversations, arguments and damage to relationships. Know what you expect for yourself and your babe and do not allow anything less. Do not waiver in these expectations. If you do you will be in situations where “you give an inch and they take a mile” happens. When it comes to our babes this is not acceptable. I wrote a post about boundary setting techniques check it out here if you are interested.
Burn out
Covid has caused global burn out. Parents, especially, are feelings this. I was working full time from home, every day, as teacher, with a newborn in my arms. I was never getting away from work, constantly multitasking for my child and 215 other children. Never having a moment of me time, never having a moment of physical reprieve or time to have a one single thought at a time (instead of 1,000 at a time). My husband was an essential worker and was staying on the opposite side of the house. Boundary lines were blurred with life and work and things were (and still are) exhausting. Setting up time for recharging has been, and still is, more than difficult. Being honest it is almost impossible during these times. Setting my life up for less burn out has made a HUGE difference. See below for more information for how I made this happen!
Other blog posts:
- Help your toddler thrive
- How to build a calm corner
- 6 healthy and effective boundary setting techniques for any situation
- 33 songs to get you through the hard times (post by thesnoozymomma)
Shamless plug I have products for sale on my site that can help any parent (in any space or on the go!) set up their life for less redirection and helping their toddlers thrive, build emotional intelligence with children and foster a love for learning.
